So I am reopening Sprout next Tuesday! I worked two days this week in preparation - went to the flower market one day to get hard goods and plants. That was nine hours, it really wiped me out. The next day the girls and I went in and worked to get the shop looking pretty, about a half day. Spent the whole next day on the sofa with a heating pad, even though I did as much sitting as possible the day before.
I'm a little nervous about going back. I'm worried I'm going to tire myself out too much, get a cold that I can ill afford to get. I'm worried I'm going to tire out just talking. You'd be surprised how tiring talking is. I got a good dose of that at the flower market the other day. We were open about my treatment to many people in the spring, but I'm sure lots of folks were clueless as things went on as normal until we closed, so they may not know my story.
Even though I am doing so well a part of my brain worries about this coming back as it is likely to do. There is no routine of diagnostic testing for this kind of cancer. Just visits every three months with the oncologist. My back has ached for a week. My Doc Onc wants to know about any pain that doesn't resolve itself in two weeks...so now I am worried about my back ache. It's probably nothing, but part of my brain "goes there".
I'm not depressed, but even being cancer free, part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Doc Onc said that feeling is pretty common at this stage of the game where treatment has ended. I guess you go forward and if the shoe drops, you cross that bridge then. On one foot with one shoe LOL!
I'm also nervous about eating and drinking enough at work. I may literally have to set a timer to remind me as it's that important I eat about every two hours. I know I haven't been drinking enough, I am a little dehydrated all the time since coming off the feeding machine. With my smaller stomach that's now doing double duty as an esophagus I just don't have room for much. And I need calories so I don't lose weight too fast. I think I'm doing OK with that...I'm down seven pounds since coming off the feeding machine, down twenty pounds more or less since surgery three months ago.
I can't say enough good things about using Caringbridge. I highly recommend it. It is a great way to keep a lot of people in the loop without having to call many people. And without them calling us for updates and feeling like they are being a bother. It has also worked great with keeping customers informed. We left info about the web site on the shop voicemail and web site and printed cards with the info and left them hanging on the shop door. The cards had to be refilled several times. And when I post, hundreds of customers, fans, friends read it. It astounds me how many. I get heartfelt supportive messages from people around the country who know Sprout from the on line world. It's amazing.
Anyhow, thanks for listening! I'll let you know how it goes next week. I will be giving myself a lot of permission to go home and take naps!